Friday 22 February 2013

House of Cards (2013-)


I've never written anything about American TV series before despite I've watched a lot (maybe too many to name it). This one is different. It blows my mind away. Brilliant. I think everyone should watch it.

Many of the series I've watched are about crimes or murder cases, such as CSI, Mentalist, NCIS, Castle and so on. I watched it for two main reasons: Kevin Spacey and the adaptation from BBC. Those two basically guarantee the quality. I've always been curious about parliamentary stuff. I didn't expect anything before I watched it and it struck me in many ways with regard to the nature and reality of politics.

It says a stories about a mastermind politician Francis Underwood and his game of power. It's always an enjoyment to watch how he plotted his delicate scheme and pull the strings to work magic. Politics is not about governance of a country, it's all about power. Yes it's a society of democracy and everyone have his or her say, but if you believe in everyone's part of the game? Think again.

People were used to be ruled by kings and queens and aristocracy centuries ago and many believe that revolutions, wars and reforms of bills have changed the rules of the game and we can finally have the right back. But the truth is, we remained ruled by the few, those who know the rule and play it well.

So you could see how Francis plays, his sophistry, his tricks, and how he juggles and controls everyone and everything. It's a bit sad, to be honest, when thinking of the fact that the ideal and faith every politician actually worth nothing in the face of power struggling. The desire to win and the ambition to take control prevail.

I'm curious what it leads us next.

標籤

我討厭標籤。

但是標籤無所不在,我可以預期某些標籤大概會跟著我一輩子。

被不認識的人、不在意的人、隨便某個人貼標籤我可以無所謂,但是如果是那些很熟,或者曾經很熟,曾經以為自己跟他很熟的(好)朋友貼上標簽實在讓人無可奈何。

貼標籤是一件很無知的事情。

「歸類」和「貼標籤」看似相同,實際上卻是完全不同的邏輯。
歸類是一種系統化的整理以試圖瞭解大局過程,而分類學確實是一種很複雜且瑣碎的工作;貼標籤則是一種試圖略過複雜分類過程,用一種最直接、簡化的方式去「製造出自己瞭解這某物某人的印象」的過程。他甚至容許任意的主觀評價。

Steve Jobs最有名的大概是那句 Stay foolish, stay hungry. 這真的很難。
Stay foolish才不是裝笨裝傻裝無知,而是根本的承認自己很無知,自知而自制。這很難。難在每個人都有自尊和傲氣,那是我們卑微生存在世界上的一點理由,就算放棄了自尊和傲氣去承認無知的事實,還得約束自己不因為無知的自卑去侵害他人,刻意的或下意識的,更是難上加難。

有個有趣的標籤叫做「文青」。

「文青」是文藝青年的簡稱,在這裡負面的批評遠高於正面的讚美,因為某些裝模作樣的姿態假掰的招人討厭,網路上可以找到大量諷刺資訊告訴你「如何當一個文青」,藉此嘲諷那個群體。

文青的一百種元素

但有趣的是,也有一些人期望自己被認可為文青而苦心孤詣的努力著,甚至希望自己不要辜負了「文青」的名號,他們往往不刻意提起文青的作為,但每個步驟都在營造「我是個文青」的形象。

當別人終於說「不愧是個文青啊!」「好有文青氣息!」的時候他們總難掩嘴角上那一抹淺笑。

也有一群人則是一邊諷刺,一邊強化「文青」的標籤力道,無聊當有趣,假掰搞笑還可以有格調。

「文青」是一種文化現象,簡單來說就是一種中產階級的生活方式,有一點閒錢不用擔心吃不飽穿不暖所以追求質感和風格。中產階級並不是生活多麼優渥,也不是個住豪宅開超跑喝昂價紅酒的階級,充其量只是想要用手上有一點的剩餘閒錢消費品味而已。其實當個「文青」沒什麼好或不好,大家對於這個標籤這麼糾結的原因不外是因為對差異的根本恐懼。

舉個例子來說,我喜歡聽國外的indie pop類型的音樂,一件很普通沒什麼大不了的事,因為台灣音樂選擇並沒有很多,對音樂的喜好通常也很容易跨越國界,好聽就聽,不喜歡就轉台找喜歡的,簡單明瞭。independent popular music其實也算是在流行樂以外的大眾選擇,我很喜歡Ingrid Michaelson就像許多人喜歡陳綺貞一樣,並不算是一個太特殊的選擇。但很這種不太特殊的選擇在這個島上經常地可能被解讀為特立獨行,因為比較少被聽過。

就算是特立獨行又有什麼不對呢?在我看來喜歡、選擇、風格、取向都是很個人也應該自由的事情。喜歡就是喜歡,不是因為我想要不一樣,就算我不一樣,又為什麼不可以?

但是在這個島大家喜歡集體化,所以集體的排斥那些純粹剛好沒有那麼喜歡大家認定的選項的人。


我有個朋友剛從英國留學回來,在一次聚會中她被另一個朋友稱為「外國人」而哭笑不得。事情有些荒謬,因為我想那個朋友忘了我也曾經在那邊留學,只是老早回台多年,也不太提及此事。在我看來,她用個標籤來稱呼他覺得因為喝了洋墨水而不再熟悉的好友,是一個可以處理她內心因為不理解而產生焦慮的方式。

有時候我對於出於個人喜好所選擇的音樂、衣服、書籍被朋友貼上各種標籤而感到無奈。無論是「學者類型」、「台大人」、「英國派」或者「文青」都讓我感到渾身不自在。

不過從一開始我就懶得解釋我用macbook、喜歡皮革制書包、聽indie pop的理由。

我們爸媽的年代,要是喜歡看好萊塢電影都會被歸類為洋派。出於同樣的理由他們只是純粹喜歡那些對某些人來說不熟悉且不在選項之內的事物而已(當然啦,也是有部分人喜歡用這種方式炫耀自己有品味)。

在資訊爆炸的時候每個人都感到無助,因為我們被放置在廣大的資訊(包括了每天新的人事物得記住)中卻得展現出自己知道某些事情,認識某些人,瞭解某些新產物,每個人都試圖用最快的方式去歸類。而標籤可能是現有最實際的方式。

小時候有「書呆子」、「放牛班」的分類,長大了有「文青」、「宅」、「憤青」、「天龍國」。標籤與時俱進。

這我可理解。那些標籤確實說明了一部分的我。不過同時你也承認自己的無知就是了。因為明擺著那些不是全部。

Labels are our sins.
---
I've been thinking to write something about how I hate labeling. It started when a close friend call me a 'Wen-yi (literature and art) Qin-nien (youth)', which should be translated into something like 'youth of art', meaning younger people who live a certain lifestyle of taste. I don't know if there's a counterpart in English. Some suggested the term 'dilettantes', but I don't think many of those give a shit about arts.

It's a rather negative label in the Chinese-speaking world for its implying a pretentious, sometimes ostentatious, lifestyle. People make so many sarcastic remarks that a list of 'the essential element of a Wen-yi Qin-nien', such as wearing a pair of nerdy glasses, furnishing their place with IKEA or MUJI house ware, listening to English Rock or independent music, speaking French or Spanish, reading Haruki Murakami, watching European movies, photographing with lomo cameras, such and such.

Being a Wen-yi Qin-nien is nothing special in my opinion. But the fact that people in this island have accumulated so many complicated feelings about the term suggests their own fear for difference. This is an island intolerant for difference and with no respect for individualism. I'd say it because that is how I feel when my friends put label on me and made comments about the way I dress, the bag I use and the music I listen to regardless they've known me for years. Choices made different from the others do not necessarily mean to stand out. Even if they do, why should we feel uneasy about them or even critise them?

My point here is labeling is not categorising. These two look similar yet work in different logic. Categorizing is scientific and systematic in order to get the whole picture. Labeling is simplifying and judging without rethinking just to show that you know something.

To put a label on someone is probably the quickest way to build one's own understanding about him/her but doing this is entitled to the fact that one should realise his or her own ignorance.

The worse part is, sadly speaking, ignorant people tend to be arrogant as well. More often that not these kind of labeling comes with pure subjective personal judgments. That's what annoys me.

Feel free to label, but admit that you're ignorant and you know perfectly well that every single label you put on me does not stand for everything about me.

記事

他說他知道你過得不好。

當她這麼轉告的時候我覺得有些訝異、委屈、不解,甚至有點受辱。

我們都會說希望你過得好,全心全意的祝福。不過希望歸希望,實際看到發自內心的陳述卻往往更為犀利貼切,無辜地殘酷,冷汗直流。

原來我的自尊脆弱得可以。


It used to be us against the world. But I wish you the best from a different world. 

Us Against the World
Oh morning come bursting the clouds, Amen.
Lift off this blindfold, let me see again.
And bring back the water, let your ships roll in, in my heart, she left a hole.

The tightrope that I'm walking just sways and ties.
The devil, as he's talking, with those angel's eyes.
And I just wanna be there when the lightning strikes.
And the saints go marching in

And sing slow it down,
Through chaos as it swirls,
It's us against the world.

Like a river to a raindrop,
I lost a friend.
My drunken has a Daniel in a lion's den.
And tonight I know it all has to begin again,
So whatever you do,
Don't let go.

And if we could float away,
Fly up to the surface and just start again.
And lift off before trouble just erodes us in the rain
Just erodes us in the rain
Just erodes us and see roses in the rain

Sing slow it down
Slow it down

Through chaos as it swirls,
It's us against the world.
Through chaos as it swirls,
It's us against the world

Wednesday 20 February 2013

老派約會之必要



帶我出門,用老派的方式約我,在我拒絕你兩次之後,第三次我會點頭。不要MSN敲我,不要臉書留言,禁止用What’s App臨時問我等下是否有空。我們要散步,要走很長很長的路。只有在散步的時候我們真正的談話,老派的談話。我們今晚因為相愛而懂得狡猾,老派的。


 我喜歡李維菁的文字。字字像把刀,割、刺、錐、挑,力到恰好,生冷解剖,我喜歡這樣。其實我買書買的少,看書又看得更少,但我買了她的兩本作品,然後像是冬天的熱水澡一樣泡了進去。

十年一課 A Decade

I've talked about my brother's trouble relationship with a girl with a close friend. My brother and I are close and he sees me as an advisor and share with me nearly everything in his life, even though I'm rather inexperience when it comes to relationships.

My brother has some qualities that, I'd say, make him a really nice guy to settle down with, such as responsible, caring, truthful and dutiful to family. Yet nobody's perfect. He's turned weak in the face of the girl he loves. And she's undecided.

My friend and I tried to analyzed it and provide solutions in many ways. We suggested him that perhaps they should take it slow and cool down a bit. Perhaps she needs timing to rethink your relationship and your role in it. blablabla...

But it turned out that he's known it very well. He tried, failed, pondered, compromised, got tired, and, helplessly fell in love again. There's seem to be nothing I could do other than listening.

'Do you wanna meet the girl? Perhaps you could get to know more about her.'

I have no intention to meet the girl or interfere anything. That's his life. That's something he has to go through. If it hurts and it takes him time to get over it, so be it.

Mine took me 10 years. A decade to learn to know myself. And love. That's just inevitable.

好個十年一課。

老派全家福之必要

去年十一月我們家去照了全家福,還挺慎重其事地,挑了日子、挑了衣服搭配,拍照的前一天總算是為爸爸挑了一件帥氣筆挺的西裝、替媽媽挑了一件貴婦派頭的套裝,早上還起了個大早到美容院「sedo」(做頭髮),就為了這張全家福。


說真的,2012年並不是特別好過。家裡的生意比往年糟,家族裡有些不愉快,弟弟的工作稱不上順遂,我的計劃停擺,妹妹即將遠行。印象中很多時候都比現在過得還要來的無憂無慮。

在這個時候我們拍了全家福。

當妹妹第一次提起這個念頭的時候,我想到的是章貽和在最後的貴族中彩色夾頁的那些黑白照片,正經八百的,或站得直直或坐的挺挺的,家族照。維多利亞時代流行的傳記在二十世紀再版時的家族照也是那樣的,擺好了姿勢,對准了鏡頭,然後靜待那一瞬間把所有的人像,排除掉每個人的故事和情緒,精準的記錄下來。

如果是上個世紀或者上上個世紀,也許我爸媽早就兒孫成群了
二十世紀末和二十一世紀初拍照流行笑。微笑、淺笑、大笑、露牙齒笑、抿著嘴笑。

我們在攝影師鏡頭前笑得燦爛,仿佛所有的憂愁、苦惱、鬱悶都暫時不存在。沒別的原因,因為我們還在一起。大家都說是世界末日的時候,我們還有彼此,笑得燦爛呢。




他們說,哇,穿這麼水,是要娶媳婦還是要嫁女兒?

然後我爸媽笑得更燦爛了。

My family had our photo taken last November. That was nothing traditional, in terms of the Chang would usually do. My mom was rather reluctant when my sister Tiffany came up with the idea. But it all went well in the end.

2012 was a tough year for nearly all of us. The extended family had troubles relating to properties and a long time harmony among the relatives now looks hypocrite. Things became tricker now. I was not sure about how this lunar New Year would be like. Things are simply not the same any more.

My brother's work has ups and downs. My application was going very well. No specific idea for my proposal so far. My parents' business, thanks to the aftermath of 08's financial crisis, reclined in a way that they could have imagined. Tiff's happy in her new relationship with this Japanese guy she met in Canada, they're now in Australia doing the working holiday things yet she cannot deny the uncertainty  for them is so high that neither of them could be sure for nothing.

No one is sure what would come next. But we survive anyway. This photo somehow reminds us that we still have each other. Till the end of the world.

Sunday 3 February 2013

Celeste & Jesse Forever

poster


trailer

I'm not one of those who would stay friendly and hand out with their ex after break-up. But Celeste reminded me of the reason we messed up with relationships: Sometimes we just wanna to get things right. Sometimes we hurt people but we tell ourselves that we're doing this for his or her own good. 
It's probably right to persist and fight for what you believe in. But that's not love. Truth is not Love. Love is not truth.
Truth is to fight no matter what and then bear the sins that follows. Do what you've got to do.
Love is compromise. You let something go and make things not so uncomfortable.
You've gotta take side.

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